Everyone has that one friend who loves to tease you, sometimes a little too much. It can be funny, but it can also get a bit annoying. If you’re looking for some clever and funny ways to respond, you’re in the right place.
These savage comebacks are perfect for turning the tables and showing your friends that you’ve got a quick wit.
Use these lines to keep things light-hearted and fun, and maybe even get a laugh or two!
Best Comebacks For Friends Who Tease You
I’m just here to make you look good.
If teasing was a sport, you’d be a champion!
Did you practice that one in front of the mirror?
Keep it up, and I’ll start charging for my time.
You tease me because you can’t handle my awesomeness!
Is that the best you’ve got?
Your words don’t match your heart, I know you love me!
Let me know when you find a better joke.
You’re like a comedian without the punchline.
My confidence is bulletproof, try again!
I see you’re trying to be funny, keep practicing.
You’re just jealous because you can’t be me.
I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
The more you tease, the more I know I’m winning.
Tease all you want, I’ll still be awesome.
You must be tired from thinking of that one.
If I had a dollar for every tease, I’d be rich!
I’m rubber, you’re glue; your words bounce off me and stick to you.
I love your sense of humor, even when it’s missing.
That’s cute, but I’m unteasable.
Keep going, you might make me laugh.
It’s funny you think that bothers me.
The best you’ve got? Try harder next time.
You’re like a cat playing with a lion!
I appreciate the attention, keep it coming.
You’re just mad because you’re not as cool as me.
I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening. Were you trying to be funny?
I must be pretty special if you’re always thinking about me.
You’re just lucky I like you.
Words can’t hurt me, but you can keep trying.
You tease because you know I’m awesome.
I’m glad you’re entertained; that’s what I’m here for!
Your jokes are like a broken pencil—pointless.
I’m flattered you think about me so much.
You’re the peanut butter to my jelly, always sticking around!
Savage Roasts To Say To Your Friends
If you were any more basic, you’d be a plain donut.
Your secrets are always safe with me. I never even listen to them.
I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
You’re like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.
You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.
I’m not saying you’re ugly, but if I had to choose between you and a potato, I’d think twice.
I’ve seen salads dressed better than you.
You’re proof that even the best of us have off days.
I’d explain it to you, but I left my patience at home.
You’re like a walking, talking warning label.
You must have been born on a highway because that’s where most accidents happen.
I’d give you a nasty look, but you already have one.
I’m trying to see things from your perspective, but I just can’t get my head that far up my rear.
I’m not saying you’re dumb, but you’ve got a lot of potential for it.
I’d explain it to you, but I don’t want to waste my time.
Your face is the reason why the blinds are closed.
You’re like a broken pencil, pointless.
I’d say you’re one in a million, but that would be an insult to the other 999,999.
If you were any more special, I’d put you in a museum.
I’m not saying you’re unattractive, but you make onions cry.
If you were a vegetable, you’d be a couch potato.
I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you.
You must be the reason for global warming.
I’m not arguing with you; I’m just explaining why you’re wrong.
If I wanted to hear from a fool, I’d talk to myself.
I’d give you a high-five, but my hand is cleaner than your attitude.
Your opinion is like a broken clock, still wrong even when it’s right.
You’re like a software update: nobody wants you, but we all have to deal with you.
You’re living proof that even a broken clock is right twice a day.
If brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t have enough to blow your hat off.
I’d love to stay and chat, but I’d rather have my teeth pulled.
Your family tree must be a cactus because everyone on it is a prick.
I’m not saying you’re lazy, but you’ve got a PhD in procrastination.
You’re like an app with too many ads, annoying and pointless.
I’d explain it to you, but I left my patience at home.
Funny Comebacks For Friends Who Tease You
If laughter is the best medicine, your jokes must be free samples.
I’m not ignoring you; I’m just giving you space to miss me.
I’d explain it to you, but I’d need a dictionary first.
Your jokes are like a Wi-Fi signal: weak and spotty.
I’m not saying you’re boring, but even my phone’s battery lasts longer than our conversations.
You’re like a broken pencil, pointless and frustrating.
Is that your best line, or are you just getting warmed up?
I’d ask how you come up with these jokes, but I don’t want to spoil the mystery.
Your sense of humor must be on vacation because it’s not here.
I’m not ignoring you; I’m just practicing my selective hearing.
You’re like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.
I’d explain it to you, but I don’t have the time or the patience.
Are you always this funny, or do you have to work at it?
I’m not saying you’re clueless, but you’re a pro at missing the point.
I’d laugh, but I’m still waiting for the punchline.
Your jokes are so old, they come with a vintage price tag.
I’m not sure what’s more tiring, your jokes or your delivery.
If jokes were a sport, you’d be on the bench.
I’m not saying you’re bad at this, but even my cat’s got better timing.
Your humor is like a poorly made sandwich, with no substance, and is hard to swallow.
I’d try to argue with you, but I’d rather save my energy for something productive.
Are you always this funny, or is it just a special occasion?
I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
Your jokes are like a diet soda, empty and lacking in flavor.
I’m not saying you’re boring, but even a mime has more to say.
I’d be impressed, but I left my astonishment at home.
Your sense of humor must be in training because it’s not ready for prime time.
I’m not ignoring you; I’m just giving you a chance to shine… somewhere else.
Your jokes are like a slow-motion replay, painfully awkward and drawn out.
I’d tell you a joke, but I’m still trying to recover from yours.
Your punchlines are like socks in the dryer, never where they’re supposed to be.
I’m not saying you’re dull, but even a rock has more personality.
Your humor is like a broken alarm clock, always off and never on time.
I’d give you credit for trying, but that would be a stretch.
Your jokes are like a bad haircut, everyone sees it, and no one wants to talk about it.
Conclusion
Teasing can be a way for friends to show they care, but it’s always nice to have a few comebacks up your sleeve. With these savage lines, you’ll be ready to handle any joke or jibe with style and humor.
Remember, the goal is to keep things playful and fun, so use these comebacks wisely and enjoy the laughs with your friends!
